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Yeah, keep left please, but turn right.

Sometimes, I am wise and compassionate.

I understand human emotions deeply, and feel all of their subtle waves. I smile effortlessly. Breathed in the world, the sounds, the magic. I am at peace. All wars, injustices, and unforgivable losses, I clearly sense under my skin. I am connected. I am beautiful.

And I am probably sleeping.

Or drunk.

Most of the times, I feel like those toddlers you see stumbling around, tied up with some colorful device, to some oversized buggy carrying more children. Yes, the stroller is the world, and I am that chubby legged two-year old, hoping my guardian will have a moment of distraction. And then, just as I am planning my getaway to a meaningful spiritual awakening, my guardian offers me a scoop of pistachio ice cream, and I regress to my comfortable animal state.

I read: the path to peace of mind and elevation is through humility and servitude.

Okay. Gotcha.

So, what to do with fire and ambition ? Or those pooed on in certain spiritual planes ? Should I strive, want, need ? How can I consolidate achievement and passivity ? Should I wait for it to come, like hail ? Or can servitude be to one self ?

If I’m asked to lay out a continental buffet for others, can I perhaps sneak some crackers for myself on the sly ?

The meek shall inherited the Earth. Who’s going to give the weak a hand when all the strong ones are burning in Hell. Or did I read that wrong ?

Can we regret something we can’t live without ?

And why can I stare down the most dramatic situations straight in the face, cool-headed and steady-handed, but then cross the street to avoid a pigeon ? Why was I terrified of Reagan’s face as a child ? And how can I explain complex philosophies to my Nonna, but still have no clue how a telescope works ?

If we are so clever, how can we call certain notions “universal”, when really, we are the only ones at the universal table ? How can a brain study another brain without recognizing the blatant subjectivity in that analysis ?

See, this is what happens when we switch coffee brands.


About Mel

Montreal queer fiction writer.

One response to “Yeah, keep left please, but turn right.

  1. Interesting thoughts, I have to say that there are very few universal things.

    Perhaps emotions, like the ones you’ve described, are the best example of what is universal. Simply because we all feel~ anger, sadness, joy, jealousy, love, desire, pain.

    I love switching coffe brands =D

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