Sometimes, I am wise and compassionate.
I understand human emotions deeply, and feel all of their subtle waves. I smile effortlessly. Breathed in the world, the sounds, the magic. I am at peace. All wars, injustices, and unforgivable losses, I clearly sense under my skin. I am connected. I am beautiful.
And I am probably sleeping.
Most of the times, I feel like those toddlers you see stumbling around, tied up with some colorful device, to some oversized buggy carrying more children. Yes, the stroller is the world, and I am that chubby legged two-year old, hoping my guardian will have a moment of distraction. And then, just as I am planning my getaway to a meaningful spiritual awakening, my guardian offers me a scoop of pistachio ice cream, and I regress to my comfortable animal state.
I read: the path to peace of mind and elevation is through humility and servitude.
So, what to do with fire and ambition ? Or those pooed on in certain spiritual planes ? Should I strive, want, need ? How can I consolidate achievement and passivity ? Should I wait for it to come, like hail ? Or can servitude be to one self ?
If I’m asked to lay out a continental buffet for others, can I perhaps sneak some crackers for myself on the sly ?
The meek shall inherited the Earth. Who’s going to give the weak a hand when all the strong ones are burning in Hell. Or did I read that wrong ?
Can we regret something we can’t live without ?
And why can I stare down the most dramatic situations straight in the face, cool-headed and steady-handed, but then cross the street to avoid a pigeon ? Why was I terrified of Reagan’s face as a child ? And how can I explain complex philosophies to my Nonna, but still have no clue how a telescope works ?
If we are so clever, how can we call certain notions “universal”, when really, we are the only ones at the universal table ? How can a brain study another brain without recognizing the blatant subjectivity in that analysis ?
See, this is what happens when we switch coffee brands.