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Designer traits

Try it on. Come on. Don’t be shy.”

I don’t know. Do you think ?”

Yes. It’s perfect. Cynicism is so in. Everyone is wearing it this season. Judith, listen, you can’t go around sporting naivety anymore. You’re thirty, it makes you look awkward.”

What about sarcasm ? I spent a lot of years working hard on it, and I think I wear it pretty well.”

No, it won’t do anymore. It’s going out of fashion. Think of Mary and the wit she had on the other day, it does nothing for her. It’s embarrassing.”

You’re right. I wanted to mention it to her, but she wasn’t receptive.”

No, wit does that to people. Have you noticed ? I think it’s the thick fabric.”

Okay, I’m gonna try this bitterness, I think it’s just my size.”

Bitterness. Hmm.”

What ? No ? You don’t think I can pull it off ?”

I’m not saying that, but you have a very silky voice. It might clash.”

This is so difficult. It’s exasperating.”

Oh, I like that. Impatience and high expectations. Buttoned it up to the top. It has to look uncomfortable for it to work.”

No, I had that on last year. I’m done with it. Look at that ! Jaded and unfulfilled. It’s a whole outfit on special for the Holidays. Should I ?”

Well, I was going to wear jaded. We can’t show up in the same thing.”

That’s true.”

Maybe I should just come back tomorrow.”

Yuk. No. Procrastination is what posers wear. You want the authentic deal.”

Fine. Tell you what. I’ll get the jaded, but I’ll match it with something I already have at home.”

What’s that ?”


Oh my God. That’s perfect. That’s such a powerful combination. You’ll be the talk of the evening.”

It’ll be a great party.”

Yes. I can’t wait.”

I wonder what Janet will be wearing.”

Same old, same old.”

Yeah. That happiness is so yesterday’s news.”

So yesterday.”


About Mel

Montreal queer fiction writer.

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