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A little bit of this. A little bit of that. But give me all of it.

It’s been a busy week, but I am gingerly making my way back to work.

What’s on my mind…I’d say hunger, but I prefer to use the word eagerness. The importance of it. The utmost absence of it in so many people I cross paths with. Human nature is prone to excess and known for harboring an array of unrealistic expectations, but I’ve come to an early conclusion about the difference between the folks I mesh with and does who leave me feeling hollow, unquenched; I like the eager ones. Those who bluff, dare, play, and demand retribution from karma. Of course to entertain the notion of friendship with such magnificent beasts, one must have developed an almost infallible intuition–in other words–eagerness can translate to emotional capitalism–stay clear from phony eagerness which is often selfish and repulsing. No, true eagerness is shared, contagious. Always positive.

I’ve met a lot of takers in my life, but the first time they shook my hand, they often wore the disguise of a giver. Most boring people are bored. Most losers are terrified of winning.

There’s this reflex or mechanism the body has, which supposedly turns thirst off after several hours of not drinking. In fact, some people have been known to die of dehydration when water was three steps away. They simply couldn’t feel their thirst anymore. What tricks our treacherous brains can play on us.

I’ve met many thirsty people lately. They just don’t know it. But baby, once they get a drop of that water on their parched tongues, ain’t no tellin’ what they’ll do.

Lately, I’ve been reading up on herders, nomads… the desert. And I think I understand my attraction to chaos–passion brimming on obsession. This book,  (Glory in the eye of a camel ) explains the animal’s fantastic capacity to withstand days without drinking, and its patient, almost apathetic nature which makes it a good animal to train for long, arduous trips across the Draa. Well, some people live their lives like a camel. No? They store emotions, making the same trip across the same arid land, passing oases, never getting wet.

I used to think being reasonable was a superb and very necessary trait of adulthood, now not so much.

After all, you can’t take your 401K to the grave.

Anyway, I’m done with travel books and Elmore Leonard’s western fiction, so I’ll be staying away from the “sand, desert, animals, dust, water” metaphors for a while. 🙂

But beware my anonymous reader, I am going to be reading Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged, thus stirring the apprentice philosopher in me; prepare!

And remember, if you don’t feel it, it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. So drink it up.

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About Mel

Montreal queer fiction writer.

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