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As I lay here living

I see things I want to change but change is collective and the collective escapes me.

I find the things I need are the things I already have, but having is barely enough when wanting gains ground everyday.

I hear music I could write if I knew how.

I resist the rat race whilst it shoves me around with a force cool as a berg and as subtle.

I grab for things one buys with money yet despise every thing currency touches.

I read a book every other day but struggle with writing a good sentence–a sentence that does not come from Ego but from a place that lives only if others acknowledge it.

I love fiercely, with pride and greed, yet know love is a bird whose wings beat faster than my human heart.

I have ambitions the height and width of a Mountain and emotions deep as the shadow it casts.

I have doubts planted in a soil which was tended by others while I was not looking.

And what I know is already changing as I type these lines.

But I am a girl and you are a boy and I love you. And if you were a girl I would love you too.

That is all the truth I need today.

 

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About Mel

Montreal queer fiction writer.

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